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Wilkey Oh, of Common Sense Media, says that parents should teach kids what to do if something makes them feel uncomfortable, whether it’s witnessing something like bullying or hate speech. Bark scans texts, emails, and social media platforms for signs of cyberbullying, adult content, threats of violence and other dangers. If kids are getting into potentially harmful situations online with bullies or strangers, there are services like Bark that scan a phone for potential red flags and alert parents. Phones can also distract kids from sleeping, she says, so set clear rules about what time the device gets shut down and put away (outside the bedroom) at night. Until kids are comfortable using a smartphone, parents should limit social media apps, set time limits on usage, avoid news apps (because kids can get overwhelmed and scared trying to process news on their own), and keep games off the phone. Storm also says it’s important to start slow.

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“You can’t just hand off the keys and say ‘good luck!’ Kids need some guidance, certain restrictions and boundaries as they learn how to navigate this very complex and overwhelming landscape.” In general, when thinking about restrictions and limits, parents should think about getting a first phone like learning to drive, says Storm.

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The device’s content settings, found in the screen time menu, can help keep any movies or TV shows watched on the phone to PG ratings and can also only allow kids to view certain types of websites. That makes parental controls especially important for younger kids, because bullying and unsafe behaviors can start on those sites. Twenty percent of fourth graders with phones use social media networks like Facebook and Snapchat, even though their policies require users to be at least 13 years old, according to a report from the digital literacy non-profit MediaSmarts. Kids with smartphones have easy access to social media sites-and may be on them even if they’re younger than platforms allow. Should I set up parental controls on my child’s phone?

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Storm also recommends smartwatches for kids, which can act as a “bridge between no phone and full smartphone.” A smartwatch would give kids the ability to communicate via text, but limited access to the internet, games, or social media. She points to Pinwheel and Gabb, simplified phones designed for kids that both limit apps and give parents control. Storm says that for younger kids, there are very good kid-friendly smartphones on the market these days. She says: “Especially since the pandemic, there is much more need to feel connected, and FaceTime lets you do that, without access to everything.” An iPad with FaceTime can also do the trick, says Siggie Cohen, a child and family therapist based in Los Angeles.

If a younger child absolutely needs a phone-for example, to stay in touch with family-look for a flip phone and preload it with a few key phone numbers. “From a purely developmental standpoint, young kids are not particularly well equipped to regulate their smartphone use,” says Storm.Ī 2019 study from researchers at King’s College London concluded that 23% of children have “problematic smartphone usage” that leads to negative mental health effects-including depression, anxiety, stress, and sleep problems. It could change their relationship to the world around them (including you) forever, Storm says. Once you give your child a smartphone, you are entrusting them with an expensive-and potentially addictive device. “Wait as long as possible,” says Julia Storm, Digital Media Wellness Educator and founder of ReConnect. “The kid who is still losing his jacket every week is not ready for a phone,” she says. She says it also depends on an individual child’s comfort with responsibility: only get a phone when a child has proven themselves able to take care of their things and seems ready for a big new challenge. There’s probably no reason a child needs a phone before middle school, says Betsy Braun Brown, a child development specialist and author of You’re Not the Boss of Me.